Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Trying to Relax

First off, today is my first post on Boston.com.  Please go check it out!

Relax, relax, relax.  That is what I have been forcing myself to do for the past month.  Things did not go as planned and the extremely controlling part of me has been going crazy.

The Boston Marathon is in less than 3 weeks.  While I know I can run a pretty good marathon, I am pretty much just going to run that day.  I am going to relax and just see what my body can do.  Yes, I do have paces in my head that I would like to hit, but if I am being realistic, I have no idea if I am ready to hit those paces.  We are not talking huge PR here.  I would love to see a PR, even if it is only 2 seconds, but I won't be TOO disappointed if I don't.  Relax, it is only one race right?
We enjoyed every moment of this race, even if it monsooned for 13 miles then turned to 90 degrees for 13.

School has been kicking my butt lately.  I am doing amazing in terms of grades.  I am enjoying everything that I am learning and am really understanding everything.  Why do I need to relax about school?  Because I can't be perfect!  I have a huge bones test coming up next week for my Anatomy class.  I almost started crying in class last week because I had no idea how I would learn all these bones in time for the test.  This week, I decided it was time to take a deep breath and chill out.  I will do fine on the test, I know this.  Again, I can't control what this teacher will ask us nor can I add more hours to the day.  I need to relax and accept what will come from school this semester.
I can't control everything but I can think happy thoughts to get me through each day.

Physical Therapy Grad school, oh the dream that stresses me out.  For the past few months, on top of school and running, I have been observing at a PT clinic in Revere, Massachusetts.  Westford Mommy goes to Revere?  Yes, that is a good hour drive with no traffic!  Unfortunately, I have been having a hard time finding local PT clinics to let me observe, so I was fortunate enough that Steph's sister-in-law is an amazing PT and has been letting me observe.  I already have over 30 hours observing there, so I need to move on to another clinic.  I am trying to find something closer, but so far, I haven't been having luck.  I am hoping that my luck will change.  I also did apply at a few clinics to work as an Aid, so maybe I can get paid to observe.  But, again, I will relax.  I have until November to gain more hours.  I have a few more connections that I am currently following up with and know things will work out.  I just need to breathe and accept that I will find a way.
My husband is amazing and I know this, I need to trust that he knows when we should worry.

Finally, my biggest stress of all right now.....My husband works as a contractor for a software company.  He found out yesterday that they are not renewing his contract after April 20th.  Yes, April 20th....4 days after the Boston Marathon and the first anniversary of my brother's death.  What a good day that will be!  My husband isn't freaking out, but I obviously am.  I have absolutely no control over this.  In less than four weeks, our life will be completely changed, AGAIN.  As if this past year hasn't been crazy enough.
Change is OK because I will always have my three favorite people with me through it all.

So now today, I am REALLY TRYING to relax.  I skipped my spin class this morning, I know Boston will not be affected by missing a workout when I am exhausted.  I went to a yoga class this morning and breathed.  I will sit here and do homework today and surrender my worry.  Worrying will not take care of everything, it will only drive me crazy.  Things will make sense again, it has to.



12 comments:

LifeAfterBagels said...

oh man good luck with alllll of that ... and your attitude is so calm and peaceful ... must be the yoga - I am the QUEEN of worrying, I have a worrying kingdom, I rule it with anxiety and paranoia ... don't join me :P

I'm a student AND I worry about my boyfriend losing his job while I'm in school

Peifer said...

Oh, goodness, Robin! I can see why you're stressed. Yoga sounds like a nice change of pace (and much needed). I'm so sorry about your husband's job... I hope something pops up quickly. I'm glad he's handling it well! Yes, try to relax--it's all out of your control anyway, and worrying won't help anything. HUGS!! Heading over to check out your post!

See Mom Run Far said...

Hugs my friend!!! Life is so full of stress, change, and challenges - all we can do is face them head on with faith that if we do our best and make good choices, things will come out ok on the other side. And you are right to try and relax... worrying and stressing just makes problems bigger, and harder to handle. When I find myself freaking out or stressing out over big challenges, I always make myself stop and count all of my blessings and make myself SEE all of the things going "right".
You are doing amazing things and the challenges will work themselves out. Hang in there! Hugs!

jsutera654 said...

Hang in there friend. Try to breathe, try to "trust the process" and the path you and your family are walking down. I know it's not easy but you have a wonderful support system both of the bloggy variety and IRL. You got this.

Ericka @ The Sweet Life said...

First time to your blog (came over from Fitfluential) and wow, I can't imagine all you have on your plate. I was struggling with similar stuff this week and had to just make it "ok" to skip a couple of things. Once I did, I realized it wasn't the end of hte world. I hope your relaxing comes quickly and effectively!

Kierston said...

Happy to hear you were able to relax in your Yoga class! Keep strong, keep breathing. Hope everything works itself out :)

You got this!

Jolene said...

Wow, I am so sorry to hear about your husband's job. That is really too bad. You are approaching this and your race with a very good approach though, I commend you on that!! And I can't wait to hear how you do in Boston!!

Runthelongroad said...

It's hard to breathe and relax sometimes! Especially with a full plate!

I'm taking the same route you are with Boston...enjoy the race and if I PR, even better!!!!

Stephanie said...

That last picture is too cute. I have wanted to be mini mouse forever. We can all take a page from your work. Yes relax, you wrote it now you better believe it missy! Here if you need me. Sending you big virtual hugs.

Mattie @ Comfyconfident said...

Congrats on your Boston.com post! That is exciting. :)

Michele @ nycrunningmama.com said...

Oh gosh, you have so much going on Robin! I hope things work out with your husband and his job/contract. But as you said - you NEED to relax - you will not run well if your mind is on a hundred other things...you need to be selfish in some regards and not stress out over the next few weeks. I truly believe everything happens for a reason - things will work themselves out for you and your family, observing (hopefully you can get paid), etc. I will keep you guys in my prayers. PS. I don't doubt that you will PR in Boston either. A few weeks off of little to no running won't affect you - you've been an amazing base and have put in the hours. xoxo

Liana said...

Good luck on your exam! I hope everything works out for you and your husband.

Also, I've read your treadmill runs and I think you'll do amazing during Boston. Two more weeks!

-Liana